(Ok, no. It's not almost free. But is more free than it would be if you stayed in hotels and ate every mealtime and didn't occasionally walk until your feet bled, ok? It is free-ish. )
At this point in my life, I consider myself a fairly proficient traveler. I know that some of you are laughing at me for this belief, but my passport has enough stamps to make me all warm and proud when I flip through it, and that's good enough for me.
I also consider myself a pretty dang good cheap-o.
By the time you read this, I will be getting ready to depart the city I have now spent over six collective weeks in over the course of my short but still grey-hair producing life (I FOUND ANOTHER ONE THIS WEEK). And so I know a trick or two about surviving the abhorrent dollar to pound conversion rate.
Please note that these are strategies that work for me, and that I was raised in such a way that I was seven or something equally ridiculous before I realized that the clearance items were not, in fact, the only items that one could actually purchase from a store. Also, if you're reading this and at any point think, fool, that's not the cheap way, this (_______) is, well. You jerk. Thanks for sharing beforehand.
On with the show!
ACCOMMODATION
Well, I'm not actually wildly qualified for this one. I mostly stay in places that have already been paid for. Special circumstances, and all. BUT! In other travels, I have found that hostels are generally a good gig. Don't just book anywhere, though. No bueno. You'll end up somewhere that smells, has expensive Internet, and no free breakfast. Like I said: No bueno.
Check out a website like HostelWorld and look into what Let's Go has to say about the area you want to stay in. Read what people say, and look for free Internet and breakfast. Seriously. Think of those two things as a requirement, and you will thank me later.
Finally, I'll talk more about this, but look out for Groupon deals in the area. Subscribe to Groupon.uk and put London as your city. I'll speak more to this later, but you can get awesome deals in London and around the UK in pretty great hotels.
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FOOD
Unlike accommodation, I am absolutely qualified to talk about food. Look how happy I am with my friend - that's love, folks.
CHEAP
London is full of little Indian/Thai/British food joints all over the place. Most of them have fairly decent prices, especially at lunchtime, when they have deals and specials. Six pounds is as much as I'd pay for a meal. And that's on a day I'm feeling frivolous and spend-y.
You also should absolutely hike down to Camden Market and get yourself some fun, exotic or just plain delicious food. Plus samples! I'm a fan of their Ethiopian booth, the Italian guys with the fried puffs of doh, and the Pakistani (I think?) meat and cheese roll things. Again, this will set you back six pounds max. Eight if you throw in a fun, fresh fruit drink or dessert. This is totally worth doing and I absolutely recommend it.
CHEAPER
Sainsbury's and Tesco are two grocery/convenience stores that are all over London, and that have absolutely been essential in our quest to spend no money. Marks and Spencer's is also apparently good, but we haven't really frequented them as much.
At these stores, you're looking at between two and four pounds a meal per person. Less if you're crazy like us and make an eleven pound deal stretch into two meals for four. Which we do a lot. Essentially, you're going to want to know that they do a £2.50-3.00 lunch meal deal, which is a sandwich or other main, plus a drink and side - chips, fruit, or candy. If you have access to an oven or microwave, make sure to check out their pre-cooked meal deals - and look for sales!
CHEAPEST
The garbage can behind Tesco's/Sainbury's/M&S's immediately following closing time.
JUST KIDDING! Unless you're into freeganism, which I totally get.
(No, dad, don't worry. I never actually went dumpster diving, no matter what I promised before we left.)
And, because this is a personal pet peeve:
Don't do the Starbucks. Seriously. It's so crazy expensive here, your American gift card doesn't work, and Nero's Café and Costa Coffee are both way better.
Actually let's talk about Nero's Café for a minute: You should go there in London. Why? A) Their coffee is really really good. B) It's significantly cheaper than Starbucks. C) They have free WiFi. D) They have free bathrooms. E) They have free water. F) You can get C through E for the price of two delicious little dutch waffles, aka one pound. Or by just being sneaky.
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TRANSPORTATION
CHEAP
Well, I guess it depends on what you plan on doing, and if you're staying exclusively in London or not. But, really, if you're in London for any length of time, you should gear yourself up for some day trips! Some of the greatest places I've seen in the UK were day trips out of London.
So, for cheap daytrip accommodation, check out the BritRail pass. I never bought one myself, but they apparently pay for themselves pretty quickly, and are fab if you plan on doing some exploring and have the time to do so.
Staying in London for awhile? Look into buying a week pass for the tube system. Cheap.
CHEAPER
For daytrips, Megabus is cheaper than trains, for sure. I went to Bristol to visit Joanna, and roundtrip paid £14. I could have got it for less, if I were less picky about times, but I'm a diva on occasion and don't do 5AM busses, thanks so much. (Well. Sometimes I don't. I do do 4AM trains but it's different, and I'm not consistent.)
For cheaper London travel, I'd recommend a pay-as-you-go Oyster card. And then use it with discretion. GoogleMaps is a really great tool, as are tennis shoes. Figure out how long it is to where you want to go in miles. Then check out your tube route. Think to yourself, "Can I walk there and then tube back?" Sure you can. At home, I have to be dragged around the block, because I think that walking is a thing of the past that humanity has, with the help of technology, moved past things like physicial activity. And who am I to deny progress? But here, in London, with £2 at stake, I walk my lazy self back home.
Don't be a delicate snowflake. And don't ride the tube during on-peak times, if you can help it (7AM-9:30AM; 4PM-7PM - I think. No guarantees.), because you will be charged wayyyyy more. Also: don't buy individual tickets. You will pay wayyyyyy more.
CHEAPEST
Walk.
Same process as with Oyster (googlemaps will be your BFF), but without the part where you get to hop on the tube when you want to go home. Nope. Walk both ways. Be brave. You can do it.
London is big. I know that. But it's not actually that big. There are very few places that you cannot, given the time and willpower, hike yourself to. Besides, in all honesty, it's a fantabulous way to get to know the city beyond the immediate areas surrounding tube stations. Like I said: I hate walking, but I love how much better I've gotten to know London by dragging my sorry self around.
Also, an honest truth: Sometimes, walking is (almost - plus 5-20 minutes) as fast as taking the tube. For instance, one day Eden and I walked back to the hostel from Hyde Park, which is a fairly long trek - a little over 2 miles. Miles and Clare took the tube, and they only beat us by 15 minutes. And we got to walk down Oxford Street, which makes us the winners.
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THINGS TO DO
Now, obviously, some of these activities won't float your particular boat. That's cool. Not everyone can have the same discerning taste as me. Not everyone can be awesome (where awesome means a tad strange and vaguely reminiscent of a sugar-high, obsessively obsessive thirteen year-old). But I can personally vouch for the greatness of all of the activities below.
(Activities is such a strange word. I don't like it here. Adventures. The following are all fabulous adventures, regardless of the tameness of their nature.)
CHEAP
Go on a day trip: Some of my personal favorite destinations, all very doable in a day and easily accesible from London include: Oxford, Brighton, Hampton Court, and Windsor.
BBC Studio Tour: Only, if you get lucky and spot a celebrity - especially one of my friends - please do not tell me, because I might burn up into a bubbly mass of jealousy.
Sherlock Holmes Museum: Because it's famous, and because, yeah, I know, we're geeks but there was a long line to get in to this place, so we're hardly alone.
West End Show: Because they are insanely awesome, and - yes - cheap. Here's what you do: Go to Leicester Square. There are tons of discount ticket sellers. Go to one of the certified shops in the morning (10:30AM is ideal) on the day you want to go to your show. Buy your ticket. Show up at the designated theater that afternoon/evening. Have your socks rocked off. Repeat.
Kew Gardens: One in eight known plant species. That is all.
CHEAPER
Camden Market: Awesome, fun, wild street market. Technically free, but do yourself a favor and buy some of the street-vendor food.
Harrod's: HA. Not cheap at all. Not unless you only go to look around, gawk at the richness and the richy-rich people, and then hit up the surprisingly reasonably priced food court. Food court. Brie and onion and ham panini. Do it.
CHEAPEST
(aka: FREEEEEE!)
British, Victoria and Albert, Science, National History Museums: All free, all fun, all impressive.
Tate Modern, National, and National Portrait Galleries: All freeeeee!
Hyde and Regents Park: Some of the best relaxing I've done this whole trip was done at Regents Park. My water bottle, book and I would go park ourselves under a tree for a few hours. It was wonderful. For those of you with more ambition in life and sightseeing, the parks also have gardens and rivers and such. But. Reading under trees and the sun. Fab.
Platform 9 3/4: It's free because it's a not good bad thing D: Not really. But it is only a slab of wall with half a shopping cart. Worth taking a picture with? Yes. Heartbreakingly disappointing? Yes.
Walking around: Free! Also, much more fun and awesome and enlightening than you would give it credit for. My favorite stomping grounds include the West End, the Westminster area, and Oxford Street. To see where super rich people live, check out Notting Hill and South Kensington.
Aaaaaaaaaaand, that's it?
If you have questions, comments, or concerns, lemme know.
If you think I am unreasonably cheap, you don't need to bother telling me. If you think I'm not as cheap as I think I am, shut up, I'm not asking for your opinion anyway.
HAHAHAHAHA.
I really just wanted to include that .gif.
If you haven't watched Little Britain, you should probably work on that.
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